In Memory of Rob Reiner

Four movies that are part of who I am...

When Harry Met Sally

Sally: Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.

Harry: Oh really?

Sally: Yes, there are times and places for things.

Harry: Well the next time you’re giving a lecture series on social graces would you let me know, ‘cos I’ll sign up.

Sally: Hey! You don’t have to take your anger out on me.

Harry: Oh I think I’m entitled to throw a little anger your way, especially when I’m told how to live my life, by Miss Hospital-Corners.

Sally: What’s that supposed to mean?

Harry: I mean nothing bothers you! You never get upset about anything!

Sally: Don’t be ridiculous!

Harry: What? You never get upset about Joe. I never see that back up on you. How is that possible? Don’t you experience any feelings of loss?

Sally: I don’t have to take this crap from you!

Harry: If you’re so over Joe, why aren’t you seeing anyone?

Sally: I see people!

Harry: See people, have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?

Sally: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove that I’m over Joe, because I fucked somebody? Harry you’re going to have to move back to New Jersey because you’ve slept with everybody in New York and I don’t see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you! Besides I will make love to somebody when it is ‘making love’, not the way you do it like you’re out for revenge or something!

Harry: Are you finished now?

Sally: Yes.

Harry: Can I say something?

Sally: Yes.

Harry: I’m sorry. I’m sorry…

It was one of the first movies I ever watched with my wife. That she loved it too was an early tell. No other film embodies our relationship like Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron’s 1989 masterpiece. When Harry Met Sally taught me that you can be an opinionated, self absorbed jerk and still get a woman like Meg Ryan if you can 1-Make her laugh 2-be in on the joke that is you 3-Tell her, exactly why you love her…dramatically 4-apologize…a lot…

We’ve had that argument a thousand times. And I hope we have it a thousand more. It always ends the same way. With an apology…from me.

A Few Good Men

Galloway: Why do you hate them so much?

Lt. Weinberg: They beat up on a weakling; that’s all they did. The rest is just smokefilled coffee-house crap. They tortured and tormented a weaker kid. They didn’t like him. So, they killed him. And why? Because he couldn’t run very fast.

Lt. Weinberg: Why do you like them so much?

Galloway: Because they stand upon a wall and say, “Nothing’s going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.”

It came out when I was 15. I applied to the Naval Academy a year later. You can fit nearly all you need to know about leading as a military officer in the space between the two truths Galloway and Weinberg reveal. We watched it in leadership class. It’s as relevant today as it ever was. Here’s to believing that the climactic exchange at the end will still make sense to the leaders of the future. That when it is revealed that you have done something wrong, there are consequences.

Stand By Me

The Writer: I wondered how Teddy could care so much for his dad, who practically killed him. And I couldn’t give a shit about my own dad, who hadn’t laid a hand on me since I was three! And that was for eating the bleach under the sink.

It came out when I was about the same age as the kids in the movie. It was the first time I remember thinking that I could feel things in a movie, a movie made for adults, that the characters on screen were feeling. It was a group of friends bound by nothing more than the coincidence of being from a small town at the same time, leaving different versions of a home on their own as they wander into a splintered future where fates diverge. It’s the story of all of us.

The Princess Bride

Man in Black: I’d just as soon destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself.

I only have one quote because its all just one quote. It’s as close to a perfect movie as you will ever see. My autistic son watches a selection of movies on loop. He rapidly fast forwards to scenes he loves and rewatches them. The only live action film, one with real actors and film, is The Princess Bride. Because Rob Reiner drew something out of his direction, through living breathing people, as perfect as if it were drawn onto the screen by hand.

It’s possible (likely?) that I’ve seen the movie more than anyone on the planet that actually wasn’t a part of making it…and even probably more than them too. I’m not exaggerating. I’m going to watch it a thousand more times too…I hope. Because it means my son and I are still alive. It runs in the background of our life. And it simply never dulls. I can’t think of a higher complement to a piece of art than that.